Takin' a breather. (also, personal apologies, confessing and other shit.)

Discussion in 'Personal Announcements' started by Nyaaa~ ∑:3, Dec 1, 2016.

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  1. Nyaaa~ ∑:3

    Nyaaa~ ∑:3 Old Champion

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    Greetings. Its... me. Again.
    So, as you may remember from my previous thread, I mentioned possability of me "forcing a hiatus" And, hoonestly, it will be not just a hiatus, but a "quarantine". What that means? Why? For how long? ...We will tell you about it.

    In my last annoucement I told... this:
    The thing is, i've done HALF of my work. Destroyed my schedule to finish it, and yet... I still have about 36+ pages to write. So, you can call it a "rest" for this month, because i've done my job, im a good boy and all of that... but there goes another problem.

    As you may know (or, for most of you folks, that dont know my life much - dont freak out), I visited Mental Hospital. Not just "because" i need something for an army or some sorts. Im Ill. Mentaly. For my entire life, from kid to... now... I have a case of Emotional Instability (If this is the right term). And im not saying it lightly, but warning you all. Because I want you to understand me clearly in the future and now, when im explaining all of this.

    To explain what is happening: My emotions can rappidly change from good to bad, and from bad to awful. And my emotions towards certain people can change, even when im calm around them. I can easily cry at every bad story that I can remember, can hate a person for one awful joke or just.. some kind of a nasty behaviour... I could easily beat, or even kill someone near me for being impolite or abusive towards me or others. I already "snapped" several times in my live, and... im not proud of that. (For stupid: do you know girls have "that" day of the month, every month? NOW its my month. And it not day of a month. Or a week of a month. Its a whole fucking month.)

    Now we are going to question: "Why?". Why am I in such dire need of this "forced hiatus"? Because otherwise, if would harm not just people, but an entire community. And I have already gone " of the rails" in this month. My hate towards some people have grown bigger and bigger. And just to feel mysef better and not to hold it in me for the lest of my rotten life, I will confess in some things.

    Seth: Do you remember my idea of a "Boss battle"? And even when I made changes and explained it... Showed differences of my idea from Decap's? And even after that, you hold on to your fucking "Im right anyways" and repeated everything? On one hand: Im sorry, you may be right at something there. On the other hand: Fuck. You. I've wasted time. I've wasted pottentialy good idea. I've wasted my nerves on this bullshit. Not atacking. Stating the fact and confessing. :3.

    KayB: About that "bants" and some other Brittish things you do - Sorry. Yes, i've gone overboard, but... Do you know how I feel, when people just bother me and pinchin' me with your words, sayin' that you're starting to show yourself like a dick? For me Its "call to arms". Screams for help. And you could just accept my words, or find a compromise. So... Yes. My apologies.

    CounterCraftz: First - the guys and your "ban all 4". Then this shit with comments. Sometimes you start to act like a complete pigdog, and your latest actions gone over the fucking roof. I can say: "yes, I was harsh with my comment, taken bit too far", but your actions were not sweet either. Deleting not just mine, but others comments, while people wasting time to write this stuff. (sometimes.) I understand "editing" something. Telling to change it. Asking to delete or edit. Be polite or some shit like that. But complete "throwing in the fucking bucket without telling shit" is not good. Im a bad person and all of that, but you're not a "saint" either. Sometimes you're look like a Satan himself, and not in a good way.

    If I got someone in the past with my shenanigans, or by confessing about everything that legit pissed me off - Sorry. Barrel of lies sweeter, than a spoon of truth. Also: This kind of text im using sometimes, like "twin personality" thing, remember? It says truth towards someone. Some people get it as some kind of gig or a joke, but its not. My little secret to you.

    So, Im doing this not just for my sake, but for my friends, comrades, colleagues and for an entire fuckin' community. And this, I hope, will bring me back on foot and patch me up. And thats how im gonna do it:
    1. I will leave moderations, bans and all that shit for others to deal with, until everything is settled.
    2. I will restrict myself from forum and Slack usage, and will appear only if its nessesary.
    3. I will restrict myself from conversations with Staff Members, unless its something urgent.
    4. I will restrict myself from Garry's Mod for the time being.
    Even if I say "restrict" it does not mean "completly disable my ability to use or act". I still can appear here and there, launch Gmod, or talk with someone. It will do something from that, but this will happen IN RARE occasions. So... keep that in mind.

    Well, that took me 2 hours and lots of emotinal changes to make this thread... So ill just wish you all greatest of days.
    I hope you will understand my pain.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
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  2. classic

    classic Community Member Platinum VIP

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    That's fine bro, take all the time you need, Good luck to you!!! :)
     
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  3. Viral

    Viral Devinity's Finest Forger Staff Member Server Moderator Platinum VIP

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    I wish you the best of luck while on your break, I, myself will miss you dearly (and our shit erp where you force me to be a grill). But however I may feel about the situation, whether I will miss a friend to talk to, who i'm confident speaking with anything about, it doesn't matter, because of the things you've said in this post, to me, you need a break, which you're doing, and I find you very strong for raising your voice about it, if people don't understand, then they don't respect you, or the things you've stated on why you're taking a break.


    Miss you xoxoxoxo
     
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  4. Seth

    Seth That Guy Platinum VIP Gold VIP

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    Ok, I'll assess this one step at a time.

    First,
    I do remember that idea, I saw that it was different, and what I recommended doing was adding some information from one thing to the other, instead of completely throwing away an entire idea that someone spent time on, you seem to not remember that or haven't been able to get it through your head. There was no, "I'm right anyways," and I would like to say that that was quite insulting.

    Second,
    What the fuck is this?! No, you can't say I'm sorry, and then say fuck you it doesn't work like that, saying I'm sorry doesn't get rid of the fuck you;
    Fuck you is an attack, not a fact or a confession, if it's not then I don't know what is, and it's not cute mocking how I say that the staff are not attacking people with my frequently used face, not cool. ";3"

    Third,
    I've wasted more time, more potentially good ideas, and more nerves on this, "bullshit," that is the Devinity community than you have, welcome to the club. I would also like to say that the Devinity community is NOT bullshit, and neither is the ideas people come up with there. The difference is that you complained about it and called it bullshit.

    Fourth,
    Oh really?! I'm pretty sure you don't mean that, and if you do, then you've said some pretty fucked up shit to some decent people and you shouldn't have.
    It's hard to understand your pain after you insult people, oh wait, you seem to believe it's forgiven because you point out your faults aswell. I am not going to console you after what you said.

    Fifth,
    You need to get your shit together. You have a mental illness? Ok, that doesn't make you a special exception to the rules. YOU are the one who decided to become staff here. YOU accepted the responsibility that comes with being staff. Your MENTAL ILLNESS did not make you do these things. If you CAN'T get your shit together than you need to either take a break or leave, it appears you are now taking a break, but I'm just mad because you spat in people's faces before you left.

    I respect you and the things you've stated about why you're on your break, but this was dramatic and uncalled for.

    Someone needed to say this, the way this thread was going was not right, if there was a misunderstanding about something I responded to, go ahead and take your time to talk about it and respond about it, right now it looks bad.

    Take it easy while you're gone, you seem like you need the break.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
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  5. LeafySharp

    LeafySharp That Xbox Gamer

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    Take your break. You probably need it. And please, Enjoy your Break! :)
     
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  6. jeffreythe00

    jeffreythe00 Dreamer

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    @Nyaaa~ ∑:3

    I hope the break goes well for you man. I think everyone needs one from time to time. Please don't feel like its absolutely necessary to slack on your school work. While we require you guys to moderate the servers, your personal life should always come first. No need to stress yourself out over it.

    I'd also like to point out that this is the first time I'm hearing you complain about issues. If you were having problems with other members of the community, you should have brought them to my attention. This is literally the first time I have heard about it and it's obvious that it's been bothering you for a while, which isn't healthy. I am glad to see that you got it out but the public isn't really the place for it. With that being said, if it causes issues, I'm going to have to lock this thread. If you have personal problems with others in the community, message me about it. If I can help, I will. My strong point in this community is working with people.

    @Seth and @Nyaaa~ ∑:3 can we drop the issue now that you both have voiced your opinions at each other? I can't have you guys feuding over trivial stuff. Not everyone is going to agree with your ideas, that is a fact of life and it's not worth fighting over.
     
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  7. Seth

    Seth That Guy Platinum VIP Gold VIP

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    Noted and understood, Nyaaa if there is something that desperately needs to be discussed, or just discussed period, then pm me about it.
     
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  8. Viral

    Viral Devinity's Finest Forger Staff Member Server Moderator Platinum VIP

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    Chill. The. fuck. out. Boyo. He's stated his reasons and that he emotionally can't handle situations, what more do you want? Do you want him to come the the US, beg at your front doorstep to say "Oh i'm sorry that I have an uncontrollable illness" He can't control it, so to help nyaaa we should be a little less "kys" and more "are you okay?"
    Just my opinion bitch about it if you want idgaf tbh it's my opinion and it's a good friend. and to see someone make a post about it going that deep into it explaining all the bad shit about it is just terrible in my opinion.
     
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  9. classic

    classic Community Member Platinum VIP

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    I think it's best it gets locked jeff, :(
     
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  10. Wolfgang

    Wolfgang Veteran Member Platinum VIP

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    I mean this with respect and don't want any drama to escalate further than it already has.

    That being said, this doesn't seem like an apology at all and is a bit over the top. (Borderline unnecessary to even make this thread.) Also if you are truly ill then you have my sympathy but again if you are truly ill you definitely should have mentioned it in your staff application or warned us beforehand rather than using it as an excuse in the future.
     
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